Naruto's Challenges
by Gamerteen13
Summary: <html><head></head>Naruto is bored of the same old fic genres, and he has some ideas for new ones.</html>


Naruto sighed into the eternal whiteness of nonexistence, before turning it into a lush tropical paradise with a snap of the fingers.

"Hello, the name's Naruto Uzumaki, or Uzumaki Naruto, depending if you use Japenglish or not. I am bored, hence why I brought you here." a female clone hands him a bottle, he says thanks before turning back to you.

"As you can probably guess from the matter creation, I just came from a _Godlike!Naruto_ fic. The third one this week, I have noticed people are getting into ruts with their fics, similar items tend to be: Kyuubi being nice, Kyuubi being an utter jerk, the Council being overly manipulative, Hinata being a creepy stalker, the Byakugan being X-Ray vision, The Sharingan making the users go insane, Henge being a Genjutsu, The Sandaime being manipulative, Sakura being completely weak, Ino being the same, Shadow Clones doing the exact same exercise somehow helps, Me being treated poorly due to my being a Jinchuriki, the Kyuubi having unlimited chakra, and the Kyuubi being a girl." he took a deep breath, before continuing his rant.

"Do you know how much of that is Canon? Four. The Council _is_ Manipulative…but it doesn't contain civilians and ninja… only Danzo, Homura, and Koharu, Jonin and Clan Heads only gather for council in the event of extreme emergencies, the Civvies stay out of it. The Byakugan can see through objects. And in Part 1 _only_, are Sakura and Ino weak. All the rest is Fanon."You start to complain "Hey! Shadow Clones give you their memories when they disperse!"Naruto groans, rubbing his temples "Yes, you don't have to remind me, people use that as a friggin' _training method_, Tell me, if you read a first grade science book a thousand times, does it make you a master of science?" You shake your head.

"Exactly, apply that to training, do the exact same exercise over and over again, unless you vary slightly each time you do it, you won't get much progress." he continues on, taking a swig of what was in the bottle.

"Next up on the debunking-list, "Kyuubi being nice" and "Kyuubi being an utter jerk", Tell me, what would you do after several _centuries_ of being sealed _repeatedly_? Then, you get sealed into a blond baby, who over the years seems to eat nothing but ramen, and doesn't seem to think except in an extreme battle situation? Frankly, I'd be cranky as well." another sip, and a new drink, this one being a soda.

"Next up for debunking, "Hinata being a creepy stalker". First off, Hinata is just a really big fan of mine, she keeps an eye on me when we cross paths, but she doesn't deliberately go out of her way to do so. Fried Eggs?" he asked, holding out a plate, you politely decline, wouldn't do good to anger a guy who can control matter, and summon people from other dimensions.

"Now, onto the three that make me curious, "Sharingan makes the users insane", "The Sandaime being manipulative", and "Henge being a Genjutsu".The Sharingan _does not_ make people insane, Sasuke is just power-hungry, and Madara is…Madara, Case in Point: Itachi, Child Prodigy, ANBU, and even when sick, manages to formulate a plot to get Sasuke strong enough to beat Madara. The only people the Sandaime manipulates are his enemies, and he hasn't done that in the last few years of his life. Also, Henge flat-out transforms the user into whatever he/she is transforming into. Evidence? Genjutsu wavers when contacted physically, Mizuki maintained his Iruka illusion after Iruka head butted him, and Iruka also maintained his illusion after head butting him, no wavering, and besides. How else could Sasuke come up with that plan where I turn into a Demon Windmill Shuriken, and he throws me at Zabuza?" taking another deep breath and another sip of soda, he continues.

"Now to tackle the last three. "Me being treated poorly due to my being a Jinchuriki", "Kyuubi having unlimited Chakra", and "Kyuubi being a girl", I was not treated poorly, I was kicked out of a book store _once_, and that was due to reading Icha Icha with Konohamaru…and not paying, of the Jinchuriki, only Gaara was treated poorly. You know how Kyuubi has a physical form? That indicates it has limited chakra, Albert Einstein put it simply, "Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.", Also. Being a being made of chakra…how the hell _could_ Kyuubi have a gender?…Besides, that deep voice makes me think "Male", not "Female" in any case." he rolls his neck, it popping several times.

"Also, I hate how people agree with Ino and Sakura about dieting, let me explain this in layman's terms. Chakra is made of Physical and Spiritual/Mental energies, where does the Physical energies come from? Your body, how does it make it? Via your metabolism, what does the metabolism metabolize to make the energy? Food, what does dieting cut back on? Food. That's why Choji and I eat lots of food, to try keeping our chakra as high as possible."

"Those are my complaints about Fanon, learn from this, and if you still decide to do these things, be sure to give _great_ backstory as to why, or else I will stab you in your sleep." you start sweating profusely, half the stories you were thinking of involved some of those he mentioned.

He chuckled "Now, Nature abhors a vacuum, so I'll try to fill it with vague suggestions that are good, as opposed to allow the vacuum to suck the crap back in." he pulls out a sheet, and reads from it.

_Another Team story. Try following the tales of another team, without tossing in Naruto, You can choose between Teams one through six, the imaginary team nine(Team Gai isn't Team Nine), team eight, and ten, any team of the preceding years, and Team Konohamaru._

_Super Powered story. Give one of the cast super powers…they just can't be Naruto, Sasuke, Sakura, nor Kakashi._

_Backstory. Here's some ideas, try making one about the Sage of Six Paths and his adventures, or about Minato's life, or even when Sarutobi was in a Genin team._

_Time Loop story. I've seen Naruto, Sakura, Gaara, and Hinata loop, try looping Kiba, Sasuke, Ino, Shikamaru, Choji, Shino, Lee, Tenten, or Neji, or even better! Loop Hanabi! Or Konohamaru, Udon or Moegi!_

_Life as a Video Game story. Really? Is this all too hard? Either Naruto(or someone else) is the sole player, or he's/she's the avatar of your gameplay._

_Not to be mistaken for a Self Insertion._

_Exile story. This requires small amounts of Fanon, so be warned. Naruto gets kicked out, and his friends won't stand it, so they leave with him, OR, All the beings responsible in the Sasuke Retrieval gets kicked out due to "Harming and assisting the harm of Uchiha-sama"._

_Rebellion story. It starts out like an Exile story, but instead of his friends just standing there, taking it, they get pissed off, and attack the council, eventually, it boils down to an all-out civil war, Danzo and the Council with ROOT ANBU and various jerks on one side, Naruto, the Hokage, the Konoha 12, and the other shinobi on the other side._

_Adopted story. Pretty simple, Pick a clan, stick Naruto in it, I've heard of him being adopted by the Sarutobi, Uchiha, and I think the Sabaku clans._

He set down the list, and cleared his throat.

"Next up on the list of things to talk about is Self Insertions. Self Insertions tend to be frowned upon, mostly due to how quickly the inserted person turns into a Mary Sue, here are some things I've noticed in Self Insertions, One, they all automatically know how to use chakra, in the series, it is never expanded upon, but they all seem to know. Two, they are apparently exempt from the law, no matter how many secrets they reveal, or laws they break, they still manage to avoid the death penalty. Which brings us to number three, they are immortal, Self Inserts never seem to die, there are close calls, sure, but _Self Inserts never die!_ Then comes number four, they are never suspicious, no one seems to care that they suddenly appear out of nowhere, wearing strange clothes, knowing too much, and seem to know everyone. And, last but not least, number five, they tend to be unrealistic, take A Step Onto Chronos(A Chrono Trigger Self Insert) for example, the protagonist, Joseph seems to have a counter for every enemy action, he seems to think that the characters of Chrono Trigger would react _calmly_ about being told they were video game characters(Marle seemed outright _ecstatic_), he gets up at four in the morning, starts practicing with his dad's sword, and a Gate appears, what does he do? Instead of backing off fearfully(the thing crosses _time_, and _into a friggin' dimensional pocket_ once), he ties a rope to his waist, a jumps in, after finding out it does indeed go through to the CT universe, he removes the rope and jumps in."He groans, and pinches the bridge of his nose.

"Seriously, what kind of _moron_ jumps into something _he knows_ goes across _space and time, without a known way to return?_"

He takes a deep breath to rid himself of frustrations, and continues.

"Anyway, Remember, if you ever make a Self Insertion, try to be as realistic as possible, no person from another world is going to have more chakra than I, and chances are, you'll die, and it is a pain to access Chakra, even worse of one to get control of it."He then pulls out another list, and says "This is a list of ideas for Self Inserts, I doubt anyone will use these, but better to list them, and have people hear them, than keep them to myself, and have them rot."

Clearing his throat, he read the list.

_Neo Kyuubi challenge. You replace the Kyuubi, You know you will die, due to Naruto's seal, you know you will die if he does, you get all the Kyuubi's powers(Chakra and whatnot), you have control of the mindscape, feel free to change it, also, do what you will to Naruto, let him die in a mob attack, or help him excel, try to stay silent, and not edit the plot, or become his Nee-san/chan, you could be his "Mother", or try to actually be his maternal/paternal figure._

_Jiminy Cricket challenge. You become a voice in a select characters head, giving them advice, telling them what, or what not to do, become their friend, Also, you can take control of a Kage Bunshin, provided said person lets you._

He rubs his head sheepishly. Before saying "Sorry… don't have many for Self Insert."

He cleared his throat before saying "Last, but not least, is "Crossovers", All the various crossovers tend to have something in common. Naruto/FFXIII crossovers tend to have me marrying Lightning, and Naruto/Assassin's Creed crossovers tend to have me being shipped to Altair or Ezio for Assassin training. There won't be much to talk about here, due to the vastness of the topic, so I'll just get to the challenges, okay?"Taking a long drink from his soda, and a deep breath, he got to reading the last piece of paper.

_Naruto/Assassin's Creed story. Naruto opens the Forbidden Scroll to come across a storage seal, he unseals it, and finds out it's an encoded message, he tucks it away for later, and learns Kage Bunshin no Jutsu, later he shows it to Shikamaru who decodes it for him, and thus, Naruto begins his search for the Codex Pages._

_NOTE: there _will_ be equal versions of the varying characters, Ino sells poisons, Doctors heal(As will Sakura in Part 2), Shikamaru decodes things(Like Leonardo), Tenten becomes like the blacksmith, and various civvies can do the rest.  
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_Naruto/Assassin's Creed story. Desmond unlocks another DNA sequence, going back to his ancestor Naruto Uzumaki, takes place a century or so before the Feudal Era, Starts in the Valley of the End(Or earlier, if you want to imitate the Ezio being Born sequence from ACII), when Naruto and Sasuke's attacks clash, the immense power rips a hole in the dimensional barrier, causing Sasuke and Naruto to come out in the middle of the sea, Sasuke gets swept towards a Chinese fishing boat, and Naruto gets swept towards Japan, where a member of the Order there takes him under his wing._

_Naruto becomes an Assassin, while Sasuke becomes a Templar, this is the hardest of the challenges, due to all the new characters having to be made, and all the research needing to be done._

_Note: for this challenge, feel free to dump him in an unclaimed* time frame, no placing him in the same time as Ezio, or Altair, unless you want to come up with a different story for it under the fact that "He is one of his anscestors, just from a different family than Ezio/Altair", and having Ezio/Altair be background characters, while still pertaining to the plot.  
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_Naruto/FFXIII crossover story. What if, Naruto's seal acts like a L'Cie brand, just without the Cie'th effect? It activates at the Bridge in Wave Country, where he either A) Gets his Eidolon, or B) learns to cast spells._

_Naruto/FFXIII crossover story. What if… what if along with Fang and Vanille, Naruto gets out of crystal stasis? Naruto and Vanille get sent together, and wind up on the Purge Train, pick who they go with. First pick from Hope's group, Lightning's group, and Snow's group, then pick from Group A(Lightning and Hope) and Group B(Sazh and Vanille)._

He gets up, finishing his soda, and says "If you actually use any of these, make sure to send a notice to Gamerteen13, he holds my mail while I'm in story, now…" a perverted smirk appears on his face "I have a Naruto/Harem story to get to, See ya!" He vanishes in a flash of light, and the world around you vanishes.

You black out, and when you awaken, you're at your computer.

* * *

><p><em>* When I say "Unclaimed", I mean "Unused by plot."<em>**  
>Frankly, I don't understand why people hate Self Inserts, some can be pulled off very well.<br>To fans of A Step Onto Chronos, I meant no offense, to the author, I recommend rewriting it with a tad bit more logic.  
>As to which NarutoHarem story he's heading to... Not telling.  
>Anyway, if you do one of these challenges, please review, or PM me to let me know, and(if you want) put in your Summary "Responding to one of Naruto's Challenges" or something.<br>Oh, and before I forget, I do not own FFXIII, Naruto, nor Assassin's Creed, Ja Ne!  
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